Tantrum of the Week

'Exhausted' celebrities janep

Grrrr! Am so fed up with celebs complaining of 'exhaustion'. It's like they've hijacked the word! When do we ever hear of junior doctors, nurses or steelworkers complaining of exhaustion? Never. And how often do we hear of whiny, vapid Heat fodder twunts complaining of 'stress' and 'exhaustion' even though they do Jack Shit? All The Time.

Shut the fuck up the lot of you!

PS: Yes I am premenstrual.

I can never be ill natalie8484

A virus so bad I had to spenda night in hospital and a week of university, yet I still have to run my reluctant son to school, my stepson to college and wait hand and foot on my husband. I felt like I was dying, maybe I did, maybe this is hell?

Home turf bluebell

Got home at 5 am from overseas holiday feeling exhausted. MIL was on holiday with us and we said our goodbyes at the airport as we couldn't fit all our luggage in the one taxi. I thought to myself, "This will end in shit". I told my Man to ring his old chook when we got to our home in case she got knocked on the head in the pitch black as she tried to open her front door laden with suitcases. We crawled in the door and were eyeing off our bed when the phone rings. Its my mother inlaw who informed her son that she didn't have a key to get into the house. He said a few choice words that can't be repeated that all start with F and drove all the way over to her home. He gave his mother a little hug because in all honestly he was thinking, "Maternal homocide" and then she informed him that there was a spare key in the shed!. In the pitch black!. Did I have white knuckles, yes!.

vomit behind the toilet bowel Bluebell

This happened to me about three years ago and I still get fucking furious when I think about it.
I will get no sympathy from some of you BMC readers I dare say, but it still sticks in my craw. I went to Phuket for a girls only holiday, the first time in my life I had some "Me time" while the DH had to look after the kids. My youngest girl was 8 at the time. So it wasn't like I was leaving Dh with a two year old for christs sakes. My Dh travels for work regually OS and I have had to manage for weeks while he was away from home. So I thought I deserved a 10 day break with the girls. Thankfully the two kids had all the same dramas I had to put up with when I was "doing the looking after without a thought from anyone" but he had offers from all the female relatives int he family of offers of help, ie babysitting. Mind you I was pissed off over this as well. Why do women think Men cant' look after their own bloody kids?. Anyway I was grateful I was getting a holiday on a tropical island, so I kept my opinions to myself over that. I had a great holiday and when I was
doing the "womans clean" after the "mans clean" of the house when I got back I wondered what was on the floor behind the toilet pedestal. I put my face right down to the floor to have a really good inspection and saw that it was week old vomit. I went out to my husabnd and "enquired" to why there was vomit on the toilet floor.
One of the girls had a bug he told me. I asked him
why he didn't clean it up. (Put very nicely, with a highly sarcastic overtone). "Oh, for christ sakes, he said, "ITs just vomit". Aren't they lazy bastards.

Ahhhh insurance melfon

apparently the home insurance that we have had for 11 years doesnt cover accidental damage to wool carpets or pretty much anything so that means that I will probably be living with a large barbie pink nail varnish stain on the living room carpet for a while now, and on top of that I need to find insurance that is actually worth having Aaaaaaaahhhhhhh, (lots of bad language.......)

Taps with 'Sensors' janep

I'm in a restaurant loo, my hands are covered in soap, I go to turn on the tap to rinse them and lo! I can't find the device to turn on the bloody water. Why? Because the tap is switched on via some stupid pointless sensor. I wave my hands about like a pissed magician trying to locate the f***ing sensor which is always somewhere ridiculous like two foot away.

Tap designers! Stop exercising your frustrated ambitions on the public and design something I can actually SEE and TWIST. Like your necks.

working from home unskinny

It's my own stupid fault, but I keep going on babycentre.co.uk, which has one of those crap insipid day by day baby calendars so you can figure out whether you're holding it the right way up or whether he/she is growing up to be a developmentally impaired toothless baldy loser.
 
Anyway, this week's boring advice is about 'how you can work from home successfully.' Well, I 'work' from home and it's so fucking incompatible with looking after a baby that it's like trying to thread a needle while being rogered by 25 acrobats from the Moscow State Circus.
 
Even so, babycentre is so brainlessly optimistic about everything, it's convinced that you can make it as a WAHM ('work from home mother'). As long as your 'career' choice is something very low key and yummy mummyish, of course.
 
It says: ' if you're a night owl, do something that you can do while the kids are in bed, like party planning.' (what, like Cynthia Payne?). 'Don't get stressed. Say to yourself, by the end of the year, I will have organised 8 parties.'
 
Hmm. Nothing like bare faced ambition is there?
 
Well, I've already organised 8 parties this week (1 bottle of Co-op chardonnay, 1 guest - me) and still haven't managed to do any fucking work. What a crock of shit.

Remember to cry on camera

What do Kate McCann, Joanne Falconio, Lindy Chamberlain and the late Sally Clarke have in common? They are all women who were thrust into the spotlight because of the kidnapping, murder or suspicious deaths of their loved ones. All of them were further tormented by newspaper accusations of 'being cold' or 'too controlled'. Lindy Chamberlain (the dingo baby case) was convicted of her daughter's murder partly because she remained calm and didn't cry in court. Sally Clarke was regarded as 'cold' because she didn't cry as she sat in court, accused of murdering her babies (shock anyone?). Joanna Falconio whose boyfriend was murdered in Australia had a rough ride from the right wing press because she didn't break down enough for their infotainment. Now Kate McCann is being subjected to a whispering campaign. 'So cold and controlled' blah blah. Come on Kate, let's have some hysterics. That's how grief stricken mothers are supposed to behave. Makes me fucking puke.

German pool ettiquette needed expatbadmother

Here in the USA it's hot and summery. We went to our local pool at the weekend. Got a table with umbrella to protect our lily white skin. Also procured the two loungers next to us with - yes, the towels. I told my American husband that we should put something more personal than a towel down, but no, he said, no one would take them now.
Almost immediately a group came up and flung our towels off the loungers. Didn't even look around for likely inhabitants. Well, I bristled immediately, and barged over to the loungers. However, given that my family members were not present, I took the moral high road. When the American said "Oh, I'm sorry were you using these?"( making no move to vacate the loungers) I said "Don't worry, I'll move along one". Almost as soon as I had moved my towels one lounger over, his wife, niece, mother-in-law and second cousin emerged and sat on MY loungers. I thought I would explode, but instead left it to my husband to go and retrieve the towels. They didn't even lookup when he heaved them from underneath their bums.
So now we have three chairs for five people, and plenty of "stuff" to proclaim that we are a family in full occupation of the set up. I couldn't believe it when I saw, from the distance of the toddler wading pool, another family come and take the table next to us and immediately pull up two of our chairs. They even had to discard our towels to take possesion of them. Grrrrr! Where is that German lounger rule when we need it?

... and everyone is sleeping... seeherwalk

Okay... right now my oldest (5) is sleeping, my youngest (3) is sleeping with my most selfish (47... aka hubby)because he (3) peeded his bed for the THIRD night in a row, my dog is sleeping with her head on my foot, and my cat is sleeping in my husbands favorite chair (nope... not gonna move him... you go ahead kitty and claw all you want!) And I CAN'T SLEEP!!!!
 
I am a stay at home mum so my day is filled with all of the stuff that magically gets done, like laundry, cooking, cleaning tending to bickering children etc. Then the hubby comes home so that just makes one more dish to pick up, one more set of clothes to pick up, one more pair of shoes to trip over, one more lunch box to empty, one more person to bicker with the boys. AaAAArrargh!!!
He wants me to go back to work. I have a job set up, just waiting for the start date BUT I DON'T WANT TO!!!! The one and only sitter that I could trust if full up. There is no one else to care for the kids. HE thinks "things will all work out"... in other words I will fix everything when it falls apart. I will find someone to care for the kids.
AAAaaaagh!!!! I am so frustrated right now! I am too wound up to sleep.
Wine... must have a lovely glass of wine.

Men who sit with their legs spread on the tube Janep

Listen you selfish, space grabbing prat. You don't see women lolling all over the seat, spilling into their neighbour's space. Oh no - we keep our arms folded, our bag on our lap and our legs crossed. But not you - SHORTARSE. You have to sit there with your elbows poking into me, and you flabby legs wide apart. You may be trying to give the message that your cock is SO BIG that you have to keep those legs wide to give the beast plenty of room. But what you're really saying is: "I am insecure and selfish. And I'm shit in bed".

Dont get the kids boyfriend off side bluebell

Lesson to parents whose kids have questionable boyfriends. Dont get involved in their relationships unless they are beating the crap out of your kid. Then you have the right to get a baseball bat out. My neighbour went down to her daughters boyfriends place of employment and told him to get lost because he was a pervert, (something about the boyfriend joking he sniffed her girlfriends sisters undies when he was staying up there which was put down to a joke)which made them more in love. So parents grin and bear the awful boyfriend/girlfriend because they could become your son or daughter inlaw. Just lock up your g-strings.

Resentment about the summer holidays maryhockenhull

Ok, its week 3 of the summer holidays. Eldest son is part of an exchange group so him and his partner are occupied everyday. But the younger one is 15 and he is home this week or at least today. He was away on scout camp, bliss, but came back on saturday night. So this is the first day he is home and we are on our own together. It is only 10.30 in the morning and I am so fed up and resentfull. His ideal day is spent watching TV, DVDs, music websites or doing mindless games on the computer, for hour after hour so I am trying to keep him occupied and away from electronics. Or at least as a comprimise to play on the internet eg enter draws, look for quizzes etc so he has to search for answers and work stuff out, use his brain but I have to check on him every couple of minites or he will go off and start gaming etc. it is driving me mad because I am getting nothing else done. He is going to be out every other day this week and next but I dont have the patience for him for even one day I wish he would just get a book and read or go and do something outside.I've already been yelling and screaming at him this morning because as soon as I tried to catch up with something on the computer, there he was plugged in watching a film. I think part of the problem is that I am so used to having several hours during the day to myself and partly because he will have slipped so far back when he gets back to school in September it will take him until Christmas to get back inline

Are You a Yummy Mummy or a Slummy Mummy? christysinclair

I found this great quiz online which tells you what sort of mummy you are. I?m a yummy mummy, but you should give it a go, its really quick. My friend Sara's a slummy mummy but she's proud of her status. http://www.slummy-yummy.com

Train Drivers !!! Bah Humbug MrsNaggy

I would like to say what a useless set of arseholes I think Train Drivers are.
Over paid...under worked and don't appear to have any concept of time.
 
Give me bus drivers any day.

Respect my elders????? Anthillmob

on a bus to kingston the other day i was sat in a singular seat and there were many other spare seats available. i was sat in the single one as it was closest to the buggy and i need to sit because of my arthritis.
 
so there i am minding my own business when this pensioner got on the bus. she came up to me and said 'can i sit there'. i said no as i was sitting there. got the usual tut. she told me she had a bad leg and i told her there were plenty of other seats to which she replied i want to sit there.
 
she was extremely rude in her tone of voice which to be honest if she had asked nicely in the first place instead of snapping at me she wanted to sit there i would have considered moving.
 
i then explained i was disabled and was met with a huff that stank of 'liar' so i then informed her that i was riddled with arthritis. she said 'i dont care im older than you' and sat on another seat infront of mine.
 
she spent the whole journey slagging me off to the woman sat next to her and when she got off the bus she snapped at me that i was rude and needed to have respect for my elders.
 
by this time i was absolutely furious. so much so i could have burst into tears at any moment and im ashamed to say i shouted at her 'oh shut up you moany old cow'.
 
to my amazement instead of disapproving looks from the other passengers i got a few sniggers.
 
so your take?. was i out of order and should have i moved? or does respect earn respect?
 
i needed to sit as much as she did.
 
i also noticed blatant racism by old folk with regards to who was in a buggy on the way home. white child. fine have the buggy there. black child or chineese child and suddenly tuts all round from the old folk for buggys being on the bus even though they were out of the way and it wasnt as if there were any fold down seats for the crumblies to sit on where the buggies were situated.

STEPSON FROM HELL! justmyfather'swife

I've looked after him for the past 13 years (14 since his natural mother died) He's now 21 and ever since leaving school has been in and out of prison, in trouble with police, on curfew (mostly at ours!) He's now got his girlfriend pregnant and we've just paid 200 quid yet again to keep him out of prison for her sake! Now I'm the big bad wicked stepmother because I broke up a physical fight between them, in MY house. Hence my name you're JUSTMYFATHER'SWIFE!!!!

Damn mother in law! MummyElz

I never got on with the woman really. She ruined my pregnancy along with my sister in law by making me feel guilty when I was taken into hospital when I was ill. Like I wanted to be there????!!!!
She was much better after Elexia was born and now she's really upset me.
She's told Claire (SIL) that I am always out. Leaving Lexi with Danny. AS IF!!!
I have been out 3 times without Elexia in the seven weeks since she was born. Twice with a good friend at which time I had two drinks and was gone for maybe two/three hours. And the other time I went to a panto that my am dram group was putting on and I had organised it BEFORE she was born.
I can't believe the silly cow!!! Very hurt.
 
Anyway I sent her a message telling her not to spread such rubbish and what did she do? Rang Danny! Why not just talk to ME??
Bloody woman!!! So so so so so so SO cross!

Victoria 'Twiglet Legs' Beckham

Arrrghhhh! Stop talking about going to LA and just Fuck Off over there will you? And when you're in LA, why not get into a spaceship with Tom 'Stack heels' Cruise and his Mogodon Missus and fuck off to Thetan paradise. And while you're at it, take your overpaid Ken Doll of a husband with you. But just GO!

Never go on holiday with your mother Little Miss Slovenly

Why is it that my Mum sees every holiday as a chance to 'set me a good example' by being tight as a gnat's chaff??
Having had numerous totally miserable holidays eating chips all week with my penny-pinching Mum many years ago, I had steadfastly refused to go on holiday with her for the last 5 or so years.
Then she had a windfall on the lottery (no, I didn't ask how much)
Would we 4 like a holiday, abroad, with sun...lol...I weakened.
So there I am 4 days into the 14 day holiday, realsing that
Even tho we'd saved every spare penny we had,we hadn't saved enough money.
The one cashpoint we could get to didn't work.
I had left my credit card at home.
When I pointed out that it would be nice if my Mum bought her grandchildren a drink or ice cream, (as our budget only allowed for one round of 5 drinks or icecreams a day)I was told we had water (which I had bought at local supermarket)and fruit (which she had asked my partner to pinch from the hotel buffet, and she ate the lions share of anyway) She then threw some sterling at me and muttered something about economising.
As Iv'e managed to bring up my 2 girls for 14 years alone on part-time wages and benefits, I know plenty about'economising'.............She's just a mean old bag who has a bit of money in the bank and enjoys lording it over those who are struggling.
So I told her to stick her money somewhere rather uncomfortable.
So, I asked the rep, in tears, to move us to another hotel.
She did this by the next day, mid-day, an we had a lovely holiday after that away from my Mum, and made some new friends to boot.
Then when we got home, we found we had a Tax Credits rebate as they'd underpaid us for a year.......looks like we had the last laugh ha ha ha
L.M. Slovenly