hoBBes
17:10 29/6/2009

10 things I wanted to say today, but didn't....

I've had an awful day really. Nowt to write home about and can't be bothered to go into the details, but I feel the need to vent my spleen in a totally trivial harmless way by listing 10 things I wanted to say to various people today.
 
1. You are wearing FAR too much blusher. Blusher requires a light hand, and you my dear, look like you've punched it on.
 
2. Apologies but no matter how much you try to catch my eye and smile, I'm not going to comment on your hat shaped like a birthday cake. Get a fucking grip.
 
3. Hurry up you bunch of cunts.
 
4. He's had enough of that bottle you silly bitch. It's running out of the side of his mouth ffs. Stop trying to force more in - he'll choke.
 
5. Sorry but I can't be bothered to engage you in inane heard it all before conversation about the double buggy - I'm in a bad mood - please fuck off.
 
6. Do they LOOK like fucking twins??
 
7. Get that great lunk of a kid OUT of that buggy, fold it up and let ME have the space - you lazy selfish trollop. Yeah yeah that's right - pretend you haven't seen me you prick.
 
8. I don't care if the doctor's running late, I've been sitting here staring at the wall for an hour and a fucking HALF! His time is NOT more important than mine...okay?? And stop saying 'doctor' in hushed reverential tones you simple headed lickarse.
 
9. You are standing way too close to me you social muppet. Go and stand over there fgs.
 
10. You quite simply do not have legs required to wear sheer cropped leopard print leggings. I know because I have those legs too and it would be a cold day in hell before I stepped out of the door in those. Far from the sensual rangy limbs you were aiming for, the print produces a mottled effect rather like a pair of diseased trees. Don't wear them again.

 
Aaaaaaahhhhhhh that's better!
 
Post your own.

Dapurplemama
17:18 29/6

Oh Hobbes...you do make me laugh x

*jarhead*
17:27 29/6

They made me laugh but i can more than understand how you felt about each of them. x
 
No.7 That hasnt happened to me but i've seen it happen to another girl and it really annoyed me. She ended up taking her tiny baby out of the pushchair and folding it up cos this lazy mare couldnt be bothered to take her kid of the pushchair and let her have the space. Arsehole!
 
Apart from my usual moan about this street and it's vile occupants i just have the one.
 
I only asked you to move the skip in front of the gate,there was no need to role your eyes was there? You are bigger and stronger than me and i've paid £70 for the fucking thing so just shift it!!

actressdaughter
17:36 29/6

I know it will grow back you stupid fuck face but that doesn't actually make me feel any better.
 

Yes thanks Hobbes miles better

purple4m
17:38 29/6

Mine for today : fuck off you twat,,I don't want to be your friend, I don't want to 'come' to you with any issues I may have or problems...I want you to leave me alone !!!!!!!!!!!
 

I find it's best to say nothing about other peoples babies etc....I try and be diplomatic but if they aren't doing it my way then it's wrong

crikeyblimey
17:44 29/6

1. When I am sitting at my desk, eating food and reading BMC, why do you find it necessary to ask if I am on my lunch? - Twats!
 
2. Why, when I have only been gone for 20 minutes to the bank, when I walk back in the office, has all hell broken loose and none of you can think to ask the senior manager for advice?
 
3. Don't come to me with ALL you fucking problems, I am an admin officer not the fucking oracle!
 
Oooh - that's better.

Elle
17:53 29/6

1. I didn't ask you to blitz the kitchen, so don't be expecting brownie points
 
2. Don't you have bloody dinner at school? I pay enough for it, why do you demand food the minute you walk through the door?
 
3. I'm not interested in next door's rabbit
 
4. If I wasn't here to provide food and money, would you notice me?
 
5. No, I am not ok, I feel low and lost, if you had been here this weekend, maybe I'd feel better.
 
6. No, I haven't written any more since last night, it's not a creativity tap you can turn on (oh how I wish it was)
 
7. I'm nervous about my future, I have squandered my past.
 
8. No you can't look on facebook, you shouldn't have lost your bloody phone.
 
9. I don't want to watch boring tennis all bloody day.
 
10. Take me somewhere exciting and shag me beneath the stars.
 

Sally Cinnamon
17:54 29/6

Ohhhhh...
 
1. Your shops are just too damned big, I can't find a flippin' thing that I need and have spent all morning trawling the aisles ending up with $140 worth of things I don't need. And three hours later I still couldn't find the sun-dried tomatoes.
 
2. Just fix the damn toilet!
 
3. I'm not interested in why you're farting around with weed-killer, I'm really not. Nor am I impressed that you plan to 'landscape' since you have been promising afore-mentioned landscaping for several months now and it still hasn't materialised.
 
Ahhh.

it wasn't me
17:56 29/6

I am very sorry that you don't like transporting my son's wheelchair twice a month when he goes to respite but surely when you took on a contract to transport children with special needs it should have crossed your obviously very tiny mind that children with special needs sometimes have aids which need to go with them wherever they go?
 
also please don't fucking lie to me again and try to put the blame on the school as i am not stupid and will check anything you tell me.
 
finally, if you want to be bloody childish and ignore me, then go right ahead - at least i don't have to pretend to be pleasant to you anymore. dickhead.
 
aahh, that feels much better!

MoFo
18:04 29/6

Aw I cant join in this thread just now, I've said everything I wanted to say today. Today Matthew I'm being a bad-tempered bitch!

scarlet harlot
18:11 29/6

1. If any of you Recoats call me 'guys' ONCE FUCKING MORE I will beat you to death with your oh-so-hilarious circus trick paraphanalia
 
2. When I come out of the train station in 40 degree heat, after 6 hours travelling with 2 children and several really heavy cases, chances are, I will want a taxi home. Sorry it's not a great distance, YOU MONEY GRABBING CUNT.
 
Thanks