Author | Discussion |
flamingo
14:05 8/2/2010
| When you choose not to have any more children, do you still feel very sad about it? I just came across ds2's "baby book" with photos and hospital wrist band and stuff. And I had a look and soon was blubbing my eyes out. My boys are now 6 and 8 and for lots of reasons we have decided not to have any more, but still I feel sad around babies etc. In reality I am much happier and in much better mental health than when I had too littlies. But somehow when I look at photos I want to be back there.
I have had two miscarriages since the boys but it is years on now and I don't feel it just those babies I am crying for, also that my boys are growing up and are not my little babies anymore.
I just wondered how other people feel about this. We hear a lot on here about those who do have another but how do you feel when you stop? |
57 replies - Page 1 2 3 Next Latest Add to Favourites |
Pimmsoclock
14:09 8/2
| Yes I do. I absolutely could not have another one for may reasons but it doesn't stop me seeing others and feeling wistful. I think its more about that exciting element of my life being over. Never going to feel that euphoria of a new baby etc. I also would have liked a third one to be a girl but our little family ticks along nicely anyway  |
bosalls
14:13 8/2
| Yes. Although quite decided, it's those moments like you've described ; sorting clothes etc out in the loft to get rid of, occasionally old photos, makes me feel sad because I'll never have that time again. |
daria
14:13 8/2
| yes I am absolutely heartbroken that we won't have any more. so you're not alone |
flamingo
14:15 8/2
| This is v helpful. I tried to talk to dh about it the other day and he clearly just felt relieved baby days were over. |
Nippers
14:18 8/2
| Totally! Still get really broody too at times, although not having any more for us was exactly the right choice to make it still breaks my heart at times. DH is just relieved though  |
AgedParent
14:19 8/2
| When I was clearing out the top cupboards of the wardrobe last year I came across DS1's first babygro, I was all "ahh how lovely, to think he was ever that small" but I don't feel sad, and never have done that they grew up.
I think I was sooo relieved the day I finally could say that the twins were "toilet trained" that I never looked back  |
mdme shoutsalot
14:21 8/2
| Yes, I felt very sad after I had had ds3 as DH had the snip while I was pg. It was more feeling the loss of something that I felt I was made to do iygwim. That was when they were babies though and life was easy peasy. Now they're all bigger and can answer back, I no longer have that confidence |
snumpy
14:22 8/2
| Yes, like Daria I'm heartbroken. I feel that when ds was born I was like a bunny in the headlights and didn't really enjoy him being a baby or have confidence in myself. I would love to have another but that's not meant to be. |
Roxie*
14:25 8/2
| Yes - I do as well - even though I know it is right etc etc I still get times where it makes me sad that I wont have a little one around again
|
**Purple People Eater**
14:31 8/2
| Oh god yes, if I'd had my way I'd have carried on till I couldn't have any more but my body and my finances couldn't cope with any more. I'll wait patiently for the grandchildren and enjoy them when they are tiny. |
*jarhead*
14:34 8/2
| Yes I do. But for lots of reasons we decided two children was enough and dh went for the snip.
I love babies and I do feel sad when I see one, like today, asleep in it's mothers arms all cute and knowing that wasn't going to be me anymore made me feel  even though I know how hard it would having a young baby around would be still made me all wistfull.
Not going to happen though so I shall contend myself with cuddling other peoples babies when I get the chance. |
Elsie
14:35 8/2
| I have never wanted more than two and can't imagine that changing when I've got two, tbh. Then again I don't have two yet, so who knows. |
*Queenie*
14:35 8/2
| I am absolutely set that I am not having any more babies. I really enjoy the little family unit that we have right now, and wouldn't want to change that
Saying that DS2 isn't even 3 yet, so I am sure that somewhere down the line I will start with the "what if"'s
Sorry that you are feeling sad though ((((hugs)))) |
Hools
14:42 8/2
| I must admit, feeling REALLY broody whilst munching the babies at the TTC meet on sat, they were utterly adorable
But, realistically, health wise, and with the asd issues that ds1 has, there will be no more for me. I am just about keeping my head above water at the moment. I will settle for being a doting Auntie and handing them back! |
pinget
15:53 8/2
| No. Caring for babies is hard work. I barely survived it the first time. Also I grew up with just one sibling, so two seems right to me. You could not pay me to have a newborn again. |
bummy
16:01 8/2
| Absolutely, I am typing this one handed while bfeeding, but I still feel desperately sad about Alfie being our last. I am so, so tired and yet yearn for another  I'm trying really hard to soak up every second of this baby.
I saw my midwife this afternoon in the gp surgery and felt tearful |
fififorgetsalot
16:02 8/2
| Two miscarriages prior to Tom and losing his twin in early pregnancy means that he is our little miracle and I thank my lucky stars every day for him. But, and there is always a but, I feel terribly sad and guilty that DS will always be an only child, like I've personally failed at being a woman. There are times when I ache for another child.
(((Flamingo)))
|
Scruff
16:04 8/2
| Not in the slightest, sorry. I only ever wanted two, and was never broody after having got pregnant with number one, so I was quite relieved when we got our two and were done. |
The Moog
16:09 8/2
| Feefs You haven't failed at all!!!
My sister is going through the broody thing, esp now I'm pregnant. She says she will content herself with a niece or nephew but I think that ache is pretty common and understandable. She says what does her in is holding newborns. |
crumps
16:10 8/2
| Not in the slightest I only ever wanted one, got talked into having two by dh and the promise of all things wonderful so when the first try and that didn't work out I was very but then got railroaded into trying just once more and along came dd. Don't get me wrong I'm pleased I have the both of them now but I am so so so happy that I will ever have another.
I am not now and never have been broody. Sometimes I reckon I'm too selfish to even be a mum |
57 replies - Page 1 2 3 Next Latest Add to Favourites |
Want to reply? You need to Log in or Register Now. |
