Tillymint
22:58 20/8/2006
| I AM QUEEN MOONCUP!!!! OOOOOOOOOOOOKKKKKKAAAAAAAAAAAYYYY then!!
Lets start at the very beginning, a very good place to start..........
From Mooncup thread
Tillymint
17:51 2/8
Right!!! I have decided to take the plunge(er! ) and get me one of these!!!
The size thing is telling me A, but I swear I have done lots of pelvic floor execises and ya know I'm not bragging or anything......
BUT the difference in size won't make that much difference will it, so should I stick with an A the bigger one??
Confused
Merseyside
Tillymint
18:07 16/8
I need to know how much difference in size there is!! Are we talking yards here??
What will happen if I'm not as tidy as I think and get the wrong one??
Will there be a major disaster??
HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
supermansbird
18:31 16/8
tilly.....just face it....just because your kids came out of the sunroof, you're still as flappy as the rest of us down there 'cos you're an old bird!!!!!
GET THE BIG ONE!!!!!
Tillymint
18:37 16/8
Erm excuse me Smobes, you speak for yourself!!
The reason I ask is, ok, I'll tell you, the last time I went for a smear the doctor said that I was very erm........well you know......... and considering my age and the fact I'd had children she seemed surprised??
Yes they did come out of the sunroof, but I have always been a pelvic floor excerciser, it's the only excercise I've ever done! The reason I am worried is because I nearly went through the roof having the smear done and she had to use a smaller speculum, so ........ oh fuck it!
I'm not getting one now!!!
From M+J
Tillymint
12:02 20/8
Afternoon!!
How is everyone this fine day?? Ok it's raining here again and not actually fine, but you know what I mean!
Oh and AF arrived and I am trying out my Les Dawson style whisper...Mooncup for the first time. Aren't you glad I shared that with you???
It can't really be this easy can it???
Off for a mooch and to send some messages xxxxx
Tillymint
12:13 20/8
Oh yes indeedy Scruff, and I have always been an ardent clencher! But Smobes said I had a "baggy fanny" I think was the term used or similar, because I was old!! HOW RUDE!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tillymint
12:19 20/8
Oh fuck! I've got to get it out too haven't I?? I never thought of that! Am reading the mooncup thread and people are talking about instruction booklets!! I didn't get one!! How do I get it out?? OH FUCK!!!!
Tillymint
12:26 20/8
If I'm not back in an hour, send a search party, I'm going in!
Sooooooooooooooooooooooo...........
I DID IT!!!
Ok the first time I looked at it and tried to suss it out I was bit, WTF?? It said roll it. I did. It sprung out like a fookin bear trap!!
I did not feel happy or confident.
I thought "I am an emancipated woman, I know where my clitoris is, I can do this!! " 
It took a while.
Quite a while actually.
The bloody thing kept pinging open whem I was trying to get it up North!
I persevered.
Yay!!
OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!
The stalk was sticking in me!
I looked like a blow up doll, complete with external valve!!!
BUT! It was ok!
I felt empowered!
Although, to be fair, I could only sit at a funny angle.
Time to remove it.
Long stalk, plenty of elbow grease! YAYYYYYY!
I did it!! Trim the stalk! ANNNNNNNNNNND.....
Bendy rolly, pingy out, FUCKING COOPERATE YOU BASTARD, yes!! 
Out ALL afternoon, and I felt SMUG!! (And Snug! )
Home again, Time to, well you get the picture.
Lalalalalalaalala fuck........no really FUCKKKK..........NO REALLY REALLY .......
CALM DOWN!!!
I can't get it out!!
Yes you can. Be calm.
FUCK OFF "BE CALM!!" I AM PANICKING!!
I am envsioning an "Old man and the huge turnip" scenario...
"Erm... MR T?? Could you come here a minute?? Oh and knock on the neighbours doors and phone the fire brigade and the coastguard, BUT ask them to wear blindfolds?? PLease??" 
Then I calmed down, and swapped hands!
Bish bash bosh! Jobs a goodun!
I LOVE IT!!!
No gripey pains, I imagine it will get easier with experience (How the fuck do I have sex?? My face was like this "O" along with my nether regions!! ) There IS such a thing as TOO MUCH EXCERCISE!! That counts for your pelvic floor it seems too!!
So! In conclusion, all you young whipper snappers out there, GET A MOONCUP!! DON'T WASTE YEARS ON ALL THE OTHER PRODUCTS THAT ARE FULL OF BLEACH AND CHEMICALS ETC ETC, AND COST A FORTUNE!!
TRUST ME!! I'M OLD!!
Her Royal Highness
Tilly Queen of Mooncups! 
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